In a normal office full of abnormal people, Ronit was special.
Not special as in “employee of the month” (he’s never won that), but special as in:
- He brought his own gloves to work.
- He carried pocket-sized Dettol like it was holy water.
- He once tried to sanitize a pigeon that flew into the pantry.
Ronit didn’t just believe in cleanliness.
He worshipped it.
He prayed at the altar of “Dry & Wet Waste.”
His dream wasn’t a corner office. It was a floor with no breadcrumbs.
It all started the day he saw a wrapper under the HR’s chair.
It was a humble orange toffee cover—lonely, forgotten, slightly sticky.
Ronit froze.
He bent down, picked it up like an archaeologist unearthing dinosaur bones, and announced loudly:
“I will NOT allow this office to become a dustbin!”
Everyone clapped.
Mostly because they were scared.
From that moment on, Ronit declared himself:
“Chief Sanitation Officer of Cubicle 3B to Pantry Region.”
He created zones.
Color-coded trash labels.
Even hand-drew a map titled “Litter Areas” with red dots.
(The boss framed it, thinking it was modern art.)
Ronit’s Greatest Hits included:
- Picking up used tissues with the same care people reserve for newborn babies.
- Lecturing Raj from IT for dropping biscuit crumbs like he was breaking up with the floor.
- Installing a “Suggestion Box” titled: “Where did you last see a wrapper?”
Once, he interrupted a serious client call yelling:
“WHO LEFT THIS STRAW ON THE FLOOR? THIS IS A STRAW-BERRY VIOLATION!”
The client was confused.
Ronit sent them a Swachh Bharat GIF.
The company lost the project.
But gained a clean floor.
Then came the Great Popcorn Disaster.
On a Friday movie night, someone (not naming names, but yes it was Sangeeta from Marketing) dropped popcorn everywhere.
It rained butter.
It snowed corn.
Ronit had a breakdown.
He pulled out a mini vacuum from under his desk (yes, he had one), switched it on and went to war.
He didn’t watch the movie.
He vacuumed the entire time while whispering to himself:
“Cleanliness… is peace… popcorn is the enemy…”
Eventually, management had to address the Ronit Situation.
So on Environment Day, they gave him a certificate that read:
“Master of Mops. Guardian of Garbage. Picker of Strange Things”
“HR still doesn’t understand his job title, but we’re scared to ask.”
They even gave him a golden dustpan.
He cried.
And used it to collect confetti.
Then threw the confetti in the recycling bin.
Moral:
Let’s face it:
Anyone can throw something down.
But only a true warrior picks it up.
Even when it’s soggy.
Even when it’s suspiciously smelly.
Even when it looks like a dead spider but is actually a raisin.
Ronit reminded us that cleanliness isn’t about mops and bins—
It’s about pride, persistence, and passive-aggressively placing “Clean Me” signs on people’s desks.
So be like Ronit.
Care about the world.
Pick up that wrapper.
Just don’t vacuum during meetings. Please.
Want to be remembered? Don’t just leave a mark.
Leave no mark behind.
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