It started like any other Monday at Logout Logistics Ltd. Blurry-eyed employees logged in, and then it happened.
9:00 AM — The Message That Travelled Around the World
A breaking news alert dropped in the team WhatsApp group:
“Logout Logistics to lay off 3% of workforce.”
Within seconds, chaos replaced calmness.
- “3%? Out of 200,000? That’s like… a whole festival crowd!”
- “What if they do it alphabetically? I’m Anuj.”
- “Is bench counted as ‘workforce’ or just some ‘furniture’?”
- “What if it’s based on how often you reply to client emails?”
- “Bro, I’ve been invisible since 2018. They might think I’m gone already.”
- “Are they using an Excel formula: =RANDOM_EMPLOYEE(‘Fire’)?”
9:07 AM — Panic Mode Activated
Sushil, the Project Lead and self-proclaimed “People Manager”, became a “War Commander”:
“People, listen up!
This is an emergency. We need to be loud, proactive, and dangerously enthusiastic. I want to hear keyboard clacking. I want Outlook Calendar to cry.”
He then scheduled four back-to-back calls and a ‘team gratitude’ circle.
9:15 AM — Transformations Begin
- Rajeev, who’d been on mute since 2021, suddenly shared a 9-sheet Excel tracker nobody asked for.
- Aishwarya, known for her poetic status updates switched to “Building impact. Always on.”
- Krish appeared on camera — with a collared shirt and a motivational poster behind him.
- Ramesh wore formals for the first time in three years.
- Even the water cooler cried, “They aren’t planning to fire me too, are they?”
10:45 AM — Strategy Escalates
The team dug up a failed client proposal from 2020, renamed it “Project Karamchand” and created a 63-slide PowerPoint presentation with 17 arrows, 11 power words, and 21 diagrams.
Krish suggested pitching it to the HR Department, just to stay in their good books.
12:30 PM — HR Walks By
An HR executive passed by the office corridor carrying a Tupperware lunchbox.
Everybody hid themselves under their tables.
Aishwarya screamed, “No, she’s not carrying any paper!”
Three people “accidentally” deleted their own Outlook accounts to avoid contact.
Sushil applauded the “proactive spirit.”
3:30 PM — Reality Check Arrives
A broadcast email finally clarified:
Please note: “Logout Logistics to PAYOFF extra 3% to workforce in September. Thank you for your support.“
A moment of stunned silence.
Krish shouted: “What? Payoff, and not Layoff?… Phewwww”
- After 7 hours of hyperactivity and pretending to be passionate, they discovered it wasn’t a layoff — it was a payoff. A bonus. A reward for high performers.
- Instantly, moods flipped. Panic turned into pride.
- Rajeev, who spent his morning updating his biodata and crying in the washroom, was now ordering biryani for the whole floor.
- Aishwarya changed her status from “Open to Opportunities” to “Winning at Life 🌟.”
Sushil ended the day with a final team message:
“Thanks for your enthusiasm, guys. I am sorry about the confusion.”
Layoff or Payoff? Choose Your Fuel Wisely:
Don’t wait for fear to fuel your fire.
Don’t become visible only when job cuts are visible.
Because real payoff doesn’t come from panic mode — it comes from consistent effort, curiosity, and sometimes… just replying to that one email on time.
When someone whispers “layoff,” people suddenly remember they have jobs.
They even find projects they forgot existed — or made one up on the spot.
But when the truth turns out to be “payoff”, not layoff?
That’s when the real talent shines.
Work like HR is watching, even when they’re not.
Stay valuable. Stay visible. Stay employed. 😉
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